Are You Living In The Now?

Written by on April 10, 2012 · Leave a Comment

As we go through our daily routine it is so difficult to keep our mind on the present. Instead it tends to wander to things like, “I need to remember to stop and pick up my suit from the dry cleaners so I’ll have it for that meeting tomorrow,” or, “I have to make time to call and make an appointment for the kids to go to the dentist for their checkups.”

When you have an addiction it’s even harder when thoughts creep in such as, “Why did I eat the entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s last night?” “I wish I would have helped my son study for his test instead of being on Facebook for so long. I’m so afraid he’s going to fail another test.”

When your mind is filled with distractions and regrets it is impossible to focus on the now. You may wonder why living in the now, focusing on each moment is so important. The reason is simple: Living in the moment—feeling what’s happening around us—can help us find joy where we least expect it. Addictions often come from lack of joy in our lives. When we lack happiness and feel only mundane routines day in and day out we are likely to either live out our entire lives only experiencing occasional happiness, or seek out joy in other ways, such as taking on an addiction.

So what if the next time you crawl in to bed, exhausted from another hectic but routine day, you tried something new. Instead of recapping the things you didn’t accomplish that day, then starting a new mental list of all the things you need to get done the next day (which will only prolong sleep), you try focusing on the coolness of the sheets, the softness of the blankets, the comfort of your pillow. Run your hands across the sheets and feel how silky and soft they are. Stretch your leg out across the bed and really take in the comfort and relaxation your bed brings you. Hint: If you begin to stretch your leg out and hit a dog with your foot, time to boot the pooch. He may be like a child to you, but he is stifling your relaxation and your sleep whether you realize it or not.

On the way to drop off the kids, commute to work, or run errands try popping in an audio book or some music you absolutely love. Put on your mp3 player and headphones while you vacuum. Really take in what the reader is discussing, or dance to the beat of the music while you clean. I guarantee you’ll take delight in focusing on even those small things and begin to feel moments of joy. You’ll begin to seek out more opportunities to create joy in your day and before you realize it, the mundane life you thought you had will suddenly feel much different. One more hint: I don’t recommend trying to dance while driving, though, or the joy you were feeling will quickly disappear when you hit the car in front of you!

You can also try reminding yourself to stay in the moment through self-talk. When getting out of bed in the morning, say, “I am getting out of bed, I am putting my feet on the floor, I am walking to the bathroom,” etc.  Self-talk is a way to occupy the mind and remind yourself that you are “right here, right now.” Staying in the present is really all we have. The past is over and tomorrow has not yet come.

Categories: Life Change - Tags: , , , , ,

The 8 Most Surprising Addictions

Written by on March 22, 2012 · Leave a Comment

I recently ran across a wonderful article on www.everydayhealth.com written by Chris Iliades, MD and medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH. In it, the author discusses eight addictions you may not think of when you think of addiction.

I’ve been writing about “soft addictions” a lot lately because I think this is an epidemic that isn’t being discussed. When the media, movies or even television shows mention the word “addict” they are typically referring to someone who is hooked on meth, crack, or some other hard-core addictive drug you buy on the street.

But there is so much more to addiction and people can fill their emptiness through any number of distractions that eventually become a need. I invite you to read the article by clicking here: The 8 Most Surprising Addictions. You may be surprised by the information that the author shares!

Please share your reviews of the article, thoughts or comments here.

Categories: Addiction

Nourish Your Soul and Find Your Path to Joy

Written by on March 13, 2012 · Leave a Comment

So how do addictions get started? There are many theories: It’s genetic, it’s a learned behavior, it’s weakness of character. But what I’d like to focus on in today’s article a common thread in each of these: a feeling of emptiness.

Many addictions start when a person feels an emptiness inside that they can’t seem to fill in their daily life. The cause of the emptiness can arise from a feeling of insecurity, of lack, longing, or something that’s never been fulfilled in their lives. There are other signs aside from addiction that a person is unfulfilled in their life:

1) A need to fill silence. Often, people who feel an emptiness cannot stand the quiet as it leaves them alone with their thoughts, and that can be too much to bare for someone who is in emotional distress.

2) Inability to feel joy from things that used to bring you happiness.

3) Fear of allowing your emotions to surface. Many people are afraid of what may happen if they acknowledge their emptiness. They also may be afraid of other people’s reactions if their true feelings are shared with others. These fears will cause many to keep feelings stuffed deep inside, allowing their pain to fester.

It’s easy to become addicted to things that are bad for us–temptation is all around us. And for just a few minutes, maybe even a couple of hours, we fill that hole inside with a superficial joy we get when we buy that pair of shoes we can’t afford but just love, or we dig in to that pint of Ben & Jerry’s while we watch American Idol. But eventually that same old feeling of emptiness and longing returns. No high lasts forever, and the shame that often follows can only cause more damage.

So what are some ways a person can begin to discover the path to a joyful and fulfilling life?

1) Plant a garden. Whether it’s vegetable or flower, something about nourishing and caring for living things fulfills us and brings us happiness. Live in an apartment or somewhere you are unable to keep a garden? Try a small, potted herb garden. You can grow wonderful herbs to cook with if you are a chef, or healing, nice smelling herbs such as lavender if you prefer.

2) Learn something new. What have you always been interested in the back of your mind but have never been daring enough to try? Now’s the time. Choose something that excites you. You never know; it may lead to a new passion or life’s calling!

3) Volunteer. Like caring for a garden, caring for others (people, animals, etc.) gives us a euphoric feeling similar to the feeling one gets from an addiction. The nice thing about volunteering is that you’re doing something wonderful for yourself rather than hurting yourself. Not to mention the joy you’ll bring those you serve!  By putting your focus on someone else and taking your mind off your own situation you can gain a little “outside” perspective on how to handle it.

4) Spend more time with those you love. They will support your efforts to change rather than drag you down again, and it’s a reminder that you are loved, and what can be more fulfilling than that?

5) Find faith. I’m not suggesting this is the end-all, be-all answer for everyone, but for many it can be. Some people find the joy they’ve been missing through practicing religion or a practice, whether it’s by going to church, sitting in a park observing nature, or meditating, this may bring you the peace you’ve been missing.  You need to be able to find something more powerful than you, something or someone that has your back!  Remember, you can’t create change from the mindset you created your current situation in.

6) Surrender:  You have to surrender all that you can’t handle.  You have to let go completely to the Universe/God/Nature…. If you were able to do it by yourself you would have already fixed it.

7) Get help.  If you have been unsuccessful in refraining from your vices get help.  There are support groups in your area and online.  You don’t have to do this alone and your success rate is extremely high with the help of a professional.  Call me!

Categories: Addiction, Life Change - Tags: , , , , , , ,

Do You Suffer in Silence?

Written by on February 17, 2012 · Leave a Comment

I want to use this week to discuss a vital topic that only seems to get attention when a celebrity like Whitney Houston brings it to light. Right now there is mere speculation, but the probability is that she died from an overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. Her struggle with addiction has been in the spotlight for years, but the gossip was that she was addicted to crack cocaine. An autopsy will reveal her true cause of death but it appears to actually have been prescription drugs, a fact that hadn’t been discussed throughout the years.

In the end, Whitney had lost nearly everything due to her addictions to drugs and shopping. Her home was in foreclosure, she was penniless, and she had lost control of her life.

The truth is that prescription drug addiction doesn’t affect just celebrities. It can take just one visit to your doctor for pain or anxiety meds and you can become dependent on them–even after the original affliction is gone.

Addictions don’t care what race, color, religion or economic class you’re in; addiction is addiction. And although addiction to prescription drugs seems to be a fairly new phenomenon the truth is that people have struggled with it for many years.

But I’d like to focus in on the group we’re seeing struggle with this the most: Middle and upper-class women. We so often assume that drug addicts are either actors, rock stars, low-income or even homeless people. But studies increasingly show that this particular segment of the population shows the largest increase in prescription drug abuse. Some use anti-anxiety medicine such as Ativan or Xanax or pain killers such as Vicodin or Hydrocodon to relieve the stress they feel trying to achieve so much. Others choose to raid their children’s Aderall or Ritilan to get that “pick-me-up” they think they need to get everything done. Some use both.

Why is this particular class so affected by this affliction? Because of the pressure we feel, whether self-inflicted or from outside sources, to accomplish so much. We want to be the best at our jobs, the perfect homemaker, physically fit, have children who are perfect at every endeavor. We entertain, are responsible for all of the errands and laundry AND we still make time to volunteer. How could any one humanly possible, achieve so much? To read this list it seems ridiculous, yet we pressure ourselves to show the world that we are the best mom, wife and employee. So how can one tackle this mounting to-do list? Popping pills is the solution many women choose.

It can be someone in your church, your next door neighbor, or even your best friend and you may never know that she is suffering quietly with her secret. And believe me, she is suffering. She may have started out using Hydrocodone for a back injury she received in a yoga class, but two pills each day soon became four, then eight.

Why would this woman, the person who seems to have it so together and achieve anything and everything she sets out to do, become addicted to drugs? Because she feels pressure to keep up the facade she is so often complimented on. She doesn’t know how to break the vicious cycle. After all, people count on her. And she doesn’t know who she can confide in or how to tell them. In fact, she may not even realize her self that she has a problem.

My point? That as women we tend to suffer in silence. We don’t want to burden others with our problems–after all, we’re supposed to help everyone else with their problems, right? And sadly, she may become a statistic just like Whitney Houston.

If you suffer from an addiction to prescription medicines or know someone who is, the time to seek help is now. The people closest to you will not feel let down by your addiction or judge you for it. They love you and want to help you through this time in your life.

If you truly don’t feel you can speak about your problem to anyone around you or are just too scared or embarrassed, please seek outside help. Whether it’s through a coach such as myself, or a rehabilitation center in your community please don’t wait. Take action. It may save your life!

Some addiction centers who can help:

-    Betty Ford Center: (800) 434-7365
-    Caron Foundation    http://www.caron.org
-    Rose Rehab: (888) 471-0435
-    The Good Drugs Guide: List of rehab centers by area listed at http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/treatment-centers/recovery-programs.htm

Not quite ready for the next step? Please contact me by email, Sheri@SheriRowland.com, or phone, (956) 278-0512 if you just want to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through and can help you so you don’t have to suffer in silence any more!

Categories: Addiction - Tags: , , , ,

Are You Just Filling a Void?

Written by on January 5, 2012 · Leave a Comment

“I hate my job.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to pay all these bills.”
“I’m so unhappy being alone.”
“Why can’t I be a better mom like those women I see at school?”
“I’m so fat. I have to go to the gym. Will I ever lose this weight?”

Do any of these sound familiar? When these thoughts creep in how do you respond? Do you sit down with paper and a pen and write down all the ways you are a terrific mom? Create a budget? Make a list of the jobs you might love to do?

Or do you poor another glass of wine and jump on the internet to play Angry Birds or see what your first love is doing on Facebook? Maybe you
start putting in more hours at work to avoid being at home. Busy work like this may make you feel like you don’t have time to deal with the issues that keep you up at night, but the truth is that it’s just a distraction. It’s your brain’s way of putting up a protective shield and keeping you from dealing with what is really bothering you.

It’s a natural instinct that you may not even be aware of and although it may be a temporary fix, it’s simply a Band Aid masking a wound that will never heal unless you make a decision to take action. Easier said than done, right? You’d be surprised how easy it can be once you are in the right mindset, it just takes practice.

So I want you to practice just one simple step every time one of these thoughts sneaks in. Instead of finding something “really important” that you just have to take care of–like making your Christmas card list for 2012–I want you to stop, take a deep breath, and simply say to yourself, “Yes, I do deserve to ___________ (fill in the blank).” Each time you say it, it will come more easily to you and soon you will find that by saying “Yes” to a better life, the Universe will give you just what you’re asking for!

Categories: Life Change, Uncategorized - Tags: , , , , , ,

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