Do You Suffer in Silence?

Written by on February 17, 2012 · Leave a Comment

I want to use this week to discuss a vital topic that only seems to get attention when a celebrity like Whitney Houston brings it to light. Right now there is mere speculation, but the probability is that she died from an overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. Her struggle with addiction has been in the spotlight for years, but the gossip was that she was addicted to crack cocaine. An autopsy will reveal her true cause of death but it appears to actually have been prescription drugs, a fact that hadn’t been discussed throughout the years.

In the end, Whitney had lost nearly everything due to her addictions to drugs and shopping. Her home was in foreclosure, she was penniless, and she had lost control of her life.

The truth is that prescription drug addiction doesn’t affect just celebrities. It can take just one visit to your doctor for pain or anxiety meds and you can become dependent on them–even after the original affliction is gone.

Addictions don’t care what race, color, religion or economic class you’re in; addiction is addiction. And although addiction to prescription drugs seems to be a fairly new phenomenon the truth is that people have struggled with it for many years.

But I’d like to focus in on the group we’re seeing struggle with this the most: Middle and upper-class women. We so often assume that drug addicts are either actors, rock stars, low-income or even homeless people. But studies increasingly show that this particular segment of the population shows the largest increase in prescription drug abuse. Some use anti-anxiety medicine such as Ativan or Xanax or pain killers such as Vicodin or Hydrocodon to relieve the stress they feel trying to achieve so much. Others choose to raid their children’s Aderall or Ritilan to get that “pick-me-up” they think they need to get everything done. Some use both.

Why is this particular class so affected by this affliction? Because of the pressure we feel, whether self-inflicted or from outside sources, to accomplish so much. We want to be the best at our jobs, the perfect homemaker, physically fit, have children who are perfect at every endeavor. We entertain, are responsible for all of the errands and laundry AND we still make time to volunteer. How could any one humanly possible, achieve so much? To read this list it seems ridiculous, yet we pressure ourselves to show the world that we are the best mom, wife and employee. So how can one tackle this mounting to-do list? Popping pills is the solution many women choose.

It can be someone in your church, your next door neighbor, or even your best friend and you may never know that she is suffering quietly with her secret. And believe me, she is suffering. She may have started out using Hydrocodone for a back injury she received in a yoga class, but two pills each day soon became four, then eight.

Why would this woman, the person who seems to have it so together and achieve anything and everything she sets out to do, become addicted to drugs? Because she feels pressure to keep up the facade she is so often complimented on. She doesn’t know how to break the vicious cycle. After all, people count on her. And she doesn’t know who she can confide in or how to tell them. In fact, she may not even realize her self that she has a problem.

My point? That as women we tend to suffer in silence. We don’t want to burden others with our problems–after all, we’re supposed to help everyone else with their problems, right? And sadly, she may become a statistic just like Whitney Houston.

If you suffer from an addiction to prescription medicines or know someone who is, the time to seek help is now. The people closest to you will not feel let down by your addiction or judge you for it. They love you and want to help you through this time in your life.

If you truly don’t feel you can speak about your problem to anyone around you or are just too scared or embarrassed, please seek outside help. Whether it’s through a coach such as myself, or a rehabilitation center in your community please don’t wait. Take action. It may save your life!

Some addiction centers who can help:

-    Betty Ford Center: (800) 434-7365
-    Caron Foundation    http://www.caron.org
-    Rose Rehab: (888) 471-0435
-    The Good Drugs Guide: List of rehab centers by area listed at http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/treatment-centers/recovery-programs.htm

Not quite ready for the next step? Please contact me by email, Sheri@SheriRowland.com, or phone, (956) 278-0512 if you just want to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through and can help you so you don’t have to suffer in silence any more!

Categories: Addiction - Tags: , , , ,

Are You Just Filling a Void?

Written by on January 5, 2012 · Leave a Comment

“I hate my job.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to pay all these bills.”
“I’m so unhappy being alone.”
“Why can’t I be a better mom like those women I see at school?”
“I’m so fat. I have to go to the gym. Will I ever lose this weight?”

Do any of these sound familiar? When these thoughts creep in how do you respond? Do you sit down with paper and a pen and write down all the ways you are a terrific mom? Create a budget? Make a list of the jobs you might love to do?

Or do you poor another glass of wine and jump on the internet to play Angry Birds or see what your first love is doing on Facebook? Maybe you
start putting in more hours at work to avoid being at home. Busy work like this may make you feel like you don’t have time to deal with the issues that keep you up at night, but the truth is that it’s just a distraction. It’s your brain’s way of putting up a protective shield and keeping you from dealing with what is really bothering you.

It’s a natural instinct that you may not even be aware of and although it may be a temporary fix, it’s simply a Band Aid masking a wound that will never heal unless you make a decision to take action. Easier said than done, right? You’d be surprised how easy it can be once you are in the right mindset, it just takes practice.

So I want you to practice just one simple step every time one of these thoughts sneaks in. Instead of finding something “really important” that you just have to take care of–like making your Christmas card list for 2012–I want you to stop, take a deep breath, and simply say to yourself, “Yes, I do deserve to ___________ (fill in the blank).” Each time you say it, it will come more easily to you and soon you will find that by saying “Yes” to a better life, the Universe will give you just what you’re asking for!

Categories: Life Change, Uncategorized - Tags: , , , , , ,

Regrets? Forget, Release, Reset!

Written by on December 22, 2011 · Leave a Comment

How does that song go? “Ah, regrets… I’ve had a few.” We’ve all had regrets in our life, even me. One thing I regret is that [hairstyle I had in 1984], but that’s another story.

We’re humans, and by and large that implies that we will do things we regret later.  Whether it’s walking out of the store with bags full of things you know you don’t need, but just “had to have” (even though it meant charging another $700 to your credit card), or waking up regretting that extra couple of drinks you had (again) last night, we all have moments when we’d like to have a do-over.

Some call it impulsiveness, some call it addiction, but whatever you call it you deserve a second chance (or a third or fourth!). There are no limits to the number of times you can reset and get a fresh start.

Unfortunately, many people don’t believe they are deserving of a fresh start. Maybe it’s something from their past, something they learned as a child, or maybe it’s a symptom of something traumatic that is much more recent. These impulses are a sign that there is something deeper that needs your attention, and you deserve to give yourself that attention in the form of a “do-over.”

So as the new year approaches–a time of renewal–I’d like to encourage you to take these simple steps to help you get started:

1) Forget it. You cannot undo what’s been done and beating yourself won’t help. This is not to say that you shouldn’t take responsibility for it–you absolutely should. But do it once and only once, then…

2) Release it. It will not serve you to hang on to that guilt or regret. That is baggage you do not need and until you release it you will have a difficult time repairing it. Now that you’ve let it go, it’s time to…

3) Reset. Just completely start again. It’s a new day and each new day brings a new beginning for every one of us and we all deserve it!

As part of resetting, I want you to stay focused on what you DO want to do rather than what you DO NOT want to do. You are much more likely to achieve your goals by focusing on the positive thing you want than you are when you focus on the negative thing you don’t, right? That includes your new beginning!

So, grab a cup of tea and some quite time and list the cost to you of continuing these behaviors.  How much did you overspend on gifts this Christmas?  How does the extra 30 lbs. make you feel about yourself? What does spending way too much time on social media cost you in your business? If you are using substances and checking out more than you should, what is that costing you in your relationship with yourself and others?

Now list out 10 new behaviors you want to portray in 2012.  It could be setting a budget or savings acct., joining a gym, limiting your time on social media, etc….

I would love to hear your goals for 2012!

Best wishes to you during this time of renewal!

Categories: Life Change, Uncategorized - Tags: , , , , ,

Money Matters

Written by on December 9, 2011 · Leave a Comment

There’s a saying, “Never lend money to friends or family.” Have you ever been in this difficult position? A good friend or family member “needs a loan” and you are immediately thrust into the position of either having to say no (and possibly have to explain why you don’t want to loan them money) or generously helping them in their time of need and hoping you will get it back in a timely manner. When you choose the latter and the borrower doesn’t hold up their end of the bargain, it can create feelings of hurt, frustration and anger–especially if you were really counting on getting that money back!

I truly believe that in order to get your financial house in order you must also deal with any outstanding loans and make a decision on how you will bring this unsettled matter to a close. Until you deal with your feelings and bring it to a conclusion not only are you holding on to resentment but you are not tying up those financial loose ends.

To help you deal with any outstanding issues and encourage you to get a fresh financial start in 2012 I invite you to read, consider and answer the following questions:

1) “How does this matter make you feel? What are you afraid of when you consider bringing the matter up to the person who borrowed the money?”
(be detailed and specific)

2) “If I was released from worry of what that other person feels, how would I feel?”

Then I want you to answer the next question.

3) “Why would I feel those amazing feelings? It’s because ____.” What’s going to flow from you after the word “because” is “because I believe____,” “because I would be ____,” or “because I would then ____.”

Whatever naturally flows from you, just let it flow.

4) Why would you feel relief, happiness, freedom, joyfulness, excitement or readiness to take action?

Now, make a decision as to what action you will take and by when. Keep in mind that the person who borrowed the money from you may be feeling very similar feelings knowing that they owe you the money and haven’t been able to repay it.

Identifying your feelings and deciding what action you would like to take will make you feel lighter, less burdened. Keep your answers to the above questions in mind if you begin to doubt the action step you have decided to take and it will help you follow through and resolve those unresolved money matters.

Why is it so important to draw unsettled matters to a close? Because when you rid yourself of clutter, be it incomplete tasks, emotional worries, or finances you create room for the Universe to send positive things your way. And who doesn’t want to organize their finances so that more money can flow in?

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to comment in the area below.

Categories: Life Change, Money - Tags: , , ,

It Takes a Village (of Women)

Written by on November 13, 2011 · Leave a Comment

As you may know, I just got back from an amazing event for women business owners lead by Kendall Summerhawk. It was incredibly inspiring and I was surrounded by women sharing stories of their biggest hurdles in business.

As I sat there listening it struck me that these are likely struggles that men do not experience. For example, do you think men have a difficult time walking the fine line of maintaining femininity yet still being seen as a powerful business leader? I kind of doubt it.

But we women typically make decisions based on how we “feel” about a situation, where men tend to make cognitive decisions, then decide to take action. I am not saying that “feeling” is a bad thing, but the right feeling doesn’t always come along in a timely manner, often causing us to miss the boat on great opportunities. You know that saying, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”? Ladies, it’s time we start applying it to our businesses. The feeling of fear can be confused with the feeling of excitement. It can also be a sign that an incredible breakthrough is ready to happen.

How about asking for help and support. After all, women are supposed to be able to do it all themselves, right?  Wrong! I see women every day who suffer in silence and alone—and it doesn’t need to be that way. We ladies need to stick together and support each other. Let’s face it, with that whole Venus and Mars thing going on sometimes men and women just don’t get each other. Don’t you want to have a community of women that sees you; your talents, gifts, skills, abilities, your spirit and most of all your potential?  A group of women that can hold the space and make it safe for you to step up into a new space?

And you know that feeling you have when you face your fear and do it anyway? Wow, what a rush when you make yourself do something you are scared of—and come out on the other side unscathed! The great news is that you don’t have to do the fire walk alone!

So what’s a girl to do? It’s easier than you think to seek and find support for your business. Here are just a few steps you can take now:

1) Create a Master Mind group. In case you’re not familiar with this term, a Master Mind group consists of 4-6 peers who schedule a regular meeting (either face-to-face or virtual) where each takes a few minutes to discuss their current successes, challenges and ideas. Then the others in the group can provide feedback on overcoming obstacles and how to turn their ideas into their next success.

2) Check out fantastic online resources like WomenEntrepreneur.com, WomenHomeBusiness.com, and BizWomen.com or on Facebook; “Running A Business in Your Feminine”.  It’s like one-stop shopping for resources on creating a successful business!

3) Take a seat—at one of the many fantastic live and virtual events for women in business. You’ll be surprised at the volume of priceless information you can receive at these events.  As Sheri McConnell would say, “Are you going to a live event? Make sure you do… an hour at the right event can be the same as six months behind the computer.” Sheri, the voice of Smart Women Entrepreneurs, always advises women to attend no less than one live event each quarter if they are taking their businesses seriously.
Money tight? No worries, there are plenty of inexpensive or free events available that also include valuable information you can use. Check out your local SCORE office for information or visit www.score.org for a few in your area.

4) Join some of the amazing organizations that meet locally and virtually such as the International Association of Women in Business Community (IAWBC.org) National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO), American Business Women’s Association (AWBA), Savor The Success, and if you’re in the Dallas/Fort Worth area there’s 3CforWomen.com.

5) Get a coach! It may seem like a shameless plug, but in a recent study by the International Coach Federation, statistics show that of business owners surveyed the average reported the following increases:

62.4% smarter goal-setting
60.5% more balanced life
57.1% lower stress levels
52.4% more self-confidence
43.3% improvement ?n quality ?f life
25.7% more income

If you expect clients to invest in you then you have to be willing to invest in yourself. It’s that simple. Since I made the decision to pay more for my coach and training it’s been so much easier to ask for what I know I’m worth, and feel comfortable asking my clients to step up to the plate!

Take steps today–even if they’re baby steps–towards taking your business to the next level. Putting these woman-powered resources to work for you can not only help your business reach new heights of success, but help take pressure off of you knowing that you have a village of women who understand and support you on your road to reaching that success. Miracles happen putting one foot in front of the other!

I would love to hear your comments! Please send me an email or post on my blog.

“Courage…it isn’t about overcoming fear but not settling for less than we deserve.”

~Kathy Pike

Categories: Career, Life Change, Money - Tags: , , , , ,

Next Page »